


Remedy

by MaliceManaged



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Loki Needs a Hug, Mental Health Issues, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-10-12 16:12:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10494627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaliceManaged/pseuds/MaliceManaged
Summary: Everybody needs a hand sometimes, whether or not they're willing to admit it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> One sentence. This thing was inspired by one sentence. I have spent four days working on it over _one_ sentence.
> 
> This is mostly self-indulgence and wishful thinking, I'll be honest, even if it is reversed. It might also be the longest oneshot I've written.

    Elin hadn’t seen her neighbour in days. Which, alright, wasn’t that alarming in itself, as they were hardly friends. In fact, all she really knew about him was his name, that he lived alone, and that he enjoyed reading. But in the year she’d lived next door to him she’d rather gotten used to greeting him on her way out to work in the morning as he got his paper or the mail and the occasional run-ins while doing errands. But she hadn’t seen him in almost a week and the nagging feeling in her gut that something was wrong wouldn’t leave her alone.

 

    She stood before his front door, a plate of freshly made cookies in her hand so as to have an excuse to drop by, and knocked. Receiving no answer for a while, she peeked in through one of the windows by the door, seeing no movement. She knocked again, brushing a stray tendril of her dark hair that had come loose from the french braid she wore it in out of her face, and waited a while longer. She shifted her weight from foot to foot, biting her bottom lip as she considered her options. She could keep waiting, or maybe come back later.

 

    It occurred to her that he might not be home at all. He could have left on a trip or something while she was out, and thus had missed his departure.

 

    A perfectly logical explanation, but she had a feeling that wasn’t it.

 

    “Oh, what the hell,” Elin muttered to herself. She was already there; might as well make it count.

 

    Setting the plate down on the floor, she looked around to make sure there was nobody about then crouched before the keyhole, took out the lockpicks she always kept hidden in her hair and got to work. Once the door was open, she looked around again then picked up the plate and went inside, closing the door behind her.

 

    The house was a mess. Not quite so much dirty, as... very disorganized; as though it belonged to someone usually tidy that had become lax in the habit. Though the floors would certainly benefit from a broom and a mop, and the shelves and tables from a good dusting. She walked into the kitchen and grimaced slightly; the sink was full of unwashed dishes and it was obvious the trash hadn’t been taken out for some time. She found a clear spot on the counter and set the plate in her hands down; mentally preparing herself, she pulled open the fridge and grimaced again, finding what little there was in there was mostly spoiled.

 

    Elin walked out into the hall and towards what she guessed were the bedrooms, if the layout was the same as her house. One room she discovered to be study/studio, though it looked as though no one had set foot in it recently; she glanced at the many sketches lying about curiously, impressed by her mysterious neighbour’s skill, then walked back out into the hall.

 

    She wasn’t there to snoop; she was there to make sure he was okay. Though all evidence so far pointed to the contrary.

 

    She hesitated for a moment outside the room at the end of the hall, which was obviously the master bedroom, then took a steadying breath and opened the door. Or at least tried to. It opened a few inches, but then met some resistance; she pushed a little harder and it opened most of the rest of the way. The curtains were drawn and the lights were out, so she could barely see, and the stuffiness of the room told her it had been that way for a while. Once her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she glanced down and discovered the thing blocking the door was a pile of strewn clothes. She walked into the room and looked over to the bed, finding it occupied, as she expected.

 

    “Loki?” Elin called. He barely even stirred. She walked over to the side of the bed and cautiously reached down to pull the covers off his head. “Loki?” She tried again a bit louder.

 

    Leaning down, she placed a hand on his shoulder. He awoke with a start, a hand shooting up and gripping her wrist, earning a startled gasp. He blinked, trying to clear the sleep from his vision, then looked up at her in confusion.

 

    “Elin?” His voice was hoarse, both from sleep and clear disuse. “How did you get in? The wards should have prevented it.”

 

    “The... what?” Elin asked bewildered.

 

    Loki blinked again then shook his head a bit, seeming to remember something. “Right,” He muttered to himself then looked back at her. “How did you get in here?”

 

    “Picked the lock,” Elin replied casually.

 

    “Picked the...” He sighed, “Of course you did. Why?”

 

    “Well, you weren’t answering, so...” She trailed off.

 

    “And it didn’t occur to you that I may not want visitors?”

 

    “It did, but I haven’t seen you in days and I was worried.”

 

    His brow furrowed in confusion. “Why?”

 

    “Because we’re neighbours and I like your eyes,” Elin replied with a shrug. She tilted her head to the side a bit. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but... when was the last time you showered?”

 

    Loki opened his mouth to reply then paused and looked down in thought for a moment. “I haven’t the faintest idea.”

 

    Elin frowned. “Alright; up,” She ordered sternly, earning a slightly startled expression.

 

    “Pardon?”

 

    “Get up.”

 

    “Why?”

 

    “Because you’re too heavy for me to lift, now move.”

 

    Loki was too confused - and frankly too tired - to argue, and so simply did as she asked, tossing the covers aside and pulling himself to his feet sluggishly, his muscles protesting the movement. As soon as he was up, she began herding him towards the bathroom, much to his bemusement. He still wasn’t quite sure he understood why she was there; her answer didn’t really help much, odd as it was.

 

    “Alright; in you go,” Elin said as she nudged him through the doorway, “And hurry up so I can take those clothes.”

 

    “What for?”

 

    “So I can wash them, of course.” She looked back into the bedroom. “Do you even have any clean clothes to wear?”

 

    It seemed the confusion was not to leave his expression for the day, or so was the impression he was getting. Instead of saying anything, he turned and walked further into the bathroom, undressing as Elin waited at the door examining her nails. Once she heard him turn the water on, she walked into the room and collected his clothes before leaving him to his shower.

 

 

******

 

 

    The curtains in his bedroom were drawn and the windows were open when Loki came back out of the bathroom, letting fresh air and sunlight in. He immediately noticed the dirty laundry he’d carelessly discarded on the floor was gone, as were the sheets and pillowcases from his bed; there was, however, a dark grey t-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants laid out on the bare mattress.

 

    It seemed he did have clean clothes left after all.

 

    Loki got dressed then made his way to the kitchen to find Elin doing the dishes. She’d also taken out the trash, he noticed. He stared at her for a while; she was quite focused on her task and didn’t seem to have noticed his presence yet. After a while longer she paused and looked over her shoulder, and he walked into the room to stand beside her as she returned her attention to the dishes.

 

    “I brought cookies,” She spoke up without looking at him, “And you’re practically out of edible food.”

 

    “I hadn’t noticed,” Loki half-muttered, walking over to the plate and taking a cookie. He took a bite, decided he liked it, and proceeded to devour it greedily before moving on to the rest.

 

    “Where do you keep the broom?” Elin asked suddenly as she was drying her hands once the last plate was clean.

 

    “Hallway closet,” Loki replied automatically as he finished the last cookie. A few moments after she walked out of the room he paused, fully registering the question, then turned and walked after her, nearly colliding with her as she made her way to the living room. “What are you doing?”

 

    “Cleaning. That is what one does with a broom, yes?” Elin replied, walking around him and continuing on her way.

 

    Yes; it seemed that his was to be confused for the rest of the day.

 

    He followed and settled on the sofa to watch her work. She swept the floors, making her way around the living room then to the front door, the kitchen, the hall and the other rooms. When she returned to the living room with the mop, he was still there, seemingly lost in thought. She finished with the floors and told him she was going to order pizza for lunch, but he didn’t seem to really notice. It was only when she tapped his shoulder and handed him a plate that he moved, eating only three slices before deciding he didn’t want any more despite still being hungry.

 

    He followed her when she went to deal with the laundry, watching her load the washing machine then empty the dryer and begin folding. He still didn’t understand her motives, and though he wanted to ask, he just couldn’t bring himself to care enough to get the words out. She didn’t seem to mind his lurking, focusing on the task in front of her; after a while he noticed she was humming something to herself as she worked, but he couldn’t really make out what it was.

 

    When she was done she walked past him out of the room, grabbed the duster from the hallway closet along the way, and got to work on the shelves and tables and other such surfaces of the house; Loki trailed after her occasionally, not really sure what to do with himself but feeling the need to move despite how tired he still felt.

 

 

******

 

 

    Elin went back to her house for a bit in the evening to grab a change of clothes then returned to Loki’s to tackle cleaning the kitchen and the bathroom; she took a quick shower once she was done and joined him on the sofa, feeling exhausted but pleased at her accomplishment.

 

    “Why did you do this, Elin?” Loki finally asked after a long silence.

 

    “Because it needed doing,” Elin replied simply.

 

    “Why are you here?” He asked again, growing tired of her not-explanations.

 

    “I told you; I was worried. And clearly I was right to be. You need help,” She replied, concern clear in her voice. Loki scoffed and looked away and she frowned. “Loki; your house was a mess, _you_ were a mess, there’s practically no food left, and when was the last time you went out? All of these things point to things being not okay.”

 

    “I fail to see how it’s any concern of yours,” Loki retorted, though he couldn’t quite manage the sharpness he intended with the words.

 

    “Irrelevant; I’m here anyway,” Elin dismissed, unbothered by his tone.

 

    “Why?” He asked yet again. It seemed that was to be the question of the day.

 

    “Because no one should have to deal with depression alone.”

 

    “I am _not-”_ Loki began indignantly.

 

    “Swear to _god,_ man; if you finish that sentence, I _will_ smack you,” Elin interrupted, taking him aback enough to silence him. “No mentally sound person would live like this, Loki.”

 

    Loki looked away. “I don’t want your pity.”

 

    “Not pity; empathy,” Elin corrected. “I’ve been through it, and it sucks. Sucks even more when you have no one to help you. So, I’m here, to help however I can.” She placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly, causing him to look back at her. “You are not alone.”

 

    He held her gaze for a moment then looked away again. “I wonder if you would be so eager to help if you knew what I am. What I’ve done.”

 

    “Maybe. Maybe not,” Elin replied with a shrug, “But I’m here now. Gotta count for something.”

 

    He let out a sigh of frustration, his hands clenching into fists on his lap. “I can’t afford to be this weak,” He said harshly.

 

    “It’s got nothing to do with being strong or weak! Depression can happen to _anyone,”_ Elin countered emphatically. “That’s what it does, you know; it makes you think you’re weak for not being able to tough it out on your own. It makes you think you don’t need or deserve help. It’s not true, but it feels that way. And I think, deep down, some part of you knows that; I know _I_ did, for all the good it did at the time.”

 

    “You know nothing of me, to decide if I am worth your help or not,” Loki insisted.

 

    “So?” Elin countered, earning a disbelieving look, “Look, we can discuss your ‘worthiness’ later; right now, you need a hand and I can give it to you. I know it doesn’t feel like you deserve it, and I have no idea how you were raised but clearly you’re not used to getting much help, but you still need it.” He looked away and she placed her hand on his still-closed fist, causing him to look at it then her again. “Let me help you,” She said softly.

 

    Loki looked down at her hand over his. “I _can’t,”_ He half-whispered.

 

    “Why not?”

 

    “Because as soon as you learn the truth...” He couldn’t bring himself to finish, hating having even said that much.

 

    Elin bit her lips together. “Have you ever tortured someone for fun?” She asked suddenly.

 

    “What? No!” Loki replied, looking back up at her and seeming highly offended that she’d asked such a thing.

 

    “Have you ever killed a child? Ever raped someone?” Elin continued, seemingly heedless of his reaction.

 

    “Of course not!” Loki replied, his offence mingling with disgust now.

 

    “Then you’re probably good,” Elin concluded with a shrug, “Those are my top three ‘avoid at all costs’ offenders, so I’ll probably stick around.”

 

    “And if I don’t _want_ your help?”

 

    “That’s fair, as long as it’s true. And something tells me it’s not. But if you really, _absolutely_ want me to leave, then I will. It’s your call.”

 

    “You say this _after_ you invade my home,” Loki scoffed.

 

    “Well, it needed invading and don’t even try to tell me otherwise,” Elin replied. “So, what’s it going to be?”

 

    Loki fully intended to tell her to leave, that he was fine on his own, but the words refused to leave his throat and so he simply looked away again and hoped she would take the hint. And she did; just not the one he meant. With a slight huff, Elin stood then pulled on his hand still in hers, clearly intending for him to get up as well. His body was moving before he was even fully aware of it.

 

    “Where are we going?” He asked as she tugged him along, half wondering why he didn’t just pull his hand back.

 

    “My house,” She replied simply as they reached his front door.

 

    “Why?” He really was asking that a lot today. It didn’t annoy him half as much as he thought it should.

 

    “Because you have no food.”

 

    “I’m not even hungry.”

 

    “Yes, you are; you just don’t want to eat. Skipping meals is bad for your health, you know.”

 

    “I am perfectly well aware of that,” Loki said dryly.

 

    “Good! Then you have no objections,” Elin replied almost cheerfully.

 

    “I didn’t say that.”

 

    “Too late! We’re already here.”

 

    Loki sighed in exasperation as she unlocked her front door then glared up at the sky. “You must be enjoying this.”

 

    “I am, yeah,” Elin replied, not noticing that he wasn’t speaking to her, then pulled him into her house.

 

 

******

 

 

    Five months later he stood before her front door, a 12”x24” sized frame tucked under his arm, debating whether to knock or not. What if she was busy? He hadn’t exactly told her he was dropping by. What if she didn’t want company? Or, in fact, had company over already? Would he be intruding? She _had_ told him that she was available whenever he needed, but had she really meant that? Most people didn’t, in his experience.

 

    Norns; he hadn’t been _this_ nervous in a very long time. He had turned to leave and was halfway down the steps of the front porch when he heard the door open behind him.

 

    “What; you’re really just going to leave and keep me guessing?” Elin asked somewhat teasingly.

 

    Loki turned around, looking so much like a deer in headlights that she had to work hard not to laugh. “How long have you known I was here?”

 

    “Oh, about eight minutes,” Elin replied with a slight smile, “So, what’s up?”

 

    “Well, I...” He trailed off. He unconsciously tightened his grip on the frame a bit before looking away. “Never mind; it’s nothing important.”

 

    “I thought we agreed on honesty,” She called as he began to walk away, causing him to stop. She walked after him as he turned halfway to her and held her hand out. “Come inside,” She said, tilting her head towards the front door.

 

    After a moment’s hesitation, Loki took the offered hand and let her lead him into the house, closing the door behind them, and into the living room. He placed the frame face-down on a corner of her couch but waited for her to sit before he joined her; the silence stretched out for a long while as she patiently waited for him to say what was clearly on his mind.

 

    “Elin; I have been meaning to thank you,” He finally said, “You helped me when you didn’t have to, and continued to do so even when I made it difficult. You know who - what - I am, and yet you’ve stayed, despite my best efforts to push you away.” He looked down and heaved a sigh. “I know I am not the most... gracious of people, but I do appreciate all you have done for me. I need you to know that.”

 

    Elin placed a hand on his wrist, causing him to look back up at her, and smiled. “I do know,” She replied, “And as for difficulty; it’s not meant to be easy. Mental illness is a bitch to everyone it touches, that’s just fact. I know perfectly well how hard it is to care for someone who’s depressed; it can be stressful, and there will be days where nothing I can do will help. Doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it. That _you’re_ not worth it. I promise you, you are.”

 

    Loki allowed himself a small smile at that. He didn’t always believe her, but today he was so inclined. “I have...” He paused and turned to pick up the frame, hesitating before handing it over to her, “I painted this the other day; I thought you might like it.”

 

    Elin balanced the frame on her lap, a slight gasp escaping her lips as she looked at the painting; it was a landscape of the beach she had taken him to a month prior when he’d called her at the small hours of the morning needing company, the waves rolling over the shore and the sky lightened with the colours of the sunrise they had watched after he’d vented and rambled about the thoughts that had kept him up.

 

    “Oh, Loki; this is... beautiful,” She managed after a moment then looked over at him, “Are you sure you want to give this to me?”

 

    “I’m sure. It’s yours; I know it.”

 

    “Well, I love it. Thank you.”

 

    She leaned forward and carefully placed the painting down on the coffee table, intending to find a spot to hang it from later, then sat back and looked at Loki, who was staring at her intently as though there was something he wanted to say but was debating whether or not to do so. She wasn’t sure if it was sad or funny that she’d seen that expression on his face enough to recognize it as such. She was leaning towards the former.

 

    “What?” She asked, in case he needed the prompting. It tended to vary.

 

    “Not enough,” He muttered mostly to himself. She gave him a questioning look and his brow furrowed slightly like it did when he was beginning to get frustrated. “One simple painting is not nearly enough recompense for everything you have done,” He continued. “I have kept you from sleep, bothered you at work, you have cleaned up after me, cooked for me, made sure I’ve actually eaten, rested. This,” He gestured towards the painting, “Is not enough.”

 

    Elin considered telling him that it was, that she didn’t really need recompense for anything, but held the words back; she knew he wouldn’t believe it, wouldn’t let himself believe it. She hadn’t when she’d been in his place. “Well, you can always get me a cake,” She said instead, “No one’s gotten me a cake in years.”

 

    Loki breathed a laugh, quite aware she’d said that for his benefit. “Then I shall,” He replied all the same.

 

    They lapsed into comfortable silence for a while, sitting back and simply enjoying the other’s presence. He loved that they could do that, and the voice that insisted it was a weakness to both want and need the company grew quieter by the day. It had its moments when it gained strength, joining with the one that told him one day she’d grow tired of him and he’d be alone again (like he so clearly deserved), but most of the time he managed to shut it out after a while.

 

    He didn’t realise he’d reached for her hand until she slipped her fingers between his and looked over at her to be met with a small smile.

 

    “Elin; I...” He began then stopped himself, unsure whether to risk everything by saying what he wanted to so badly. She squeezed his hand encouragingly, and he decided to throw caution to the wind as he’d done so often in his life. “I think I might love you.”

 

    Elin smiled widely as her heart skipped a beat. “Well, I certainly hope so,” She replied, “Because I _know_ I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment; I could really use the feedback. I'm actually really nervous about sharing this one.
> 
> As a random note for anyone interested in such things; the song I pictured Elin humming while she worked was this one: [Dh'èirich Mi Moch Madainn Chèitein](http://tinyurl.com/mfk85qf)
> 
> And also, you may not want to be so pushy as Elin was at the beginning if you want to help someone with depression. I went with my own experience, and that's usually the only thing that works with me when I get that bad. I'm pretty sure it won't work half as well with others; so just, you know, be careful.


End file.
